It's been awhile. I guess I haven't been in the mood for writing until now.
Plenty of people let themselves go when they're going through more difficult times. I certainly know I have. It's easy to be fit and trim when you enjoy your job and have no concerns about money or finances. You buy different food, make different choices, etc. I wish I could say that's what life is like right now. The truth is it's kind of a low point at the moment... in more ways then one. I realize I only have to deal with this situation for only a short time, but still, I feel fairly impatient and anxious for change.
Tonight, however, I'm looking at the big picture. I have no concerns for the future of my career or my relationship. I know I'm very good at what I do and with a satisfying job I'll only be that much more fun to be around... something I hope Stephanie finds out. Our relationship oozes laughter at the seams. We joke, we giggle, we play pranks on each other and we have a good time, except when we're worried about money. I don't have any major issues and neither does she. She embodies everything I find most important in an individual's personality. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't make her laugh and giggle like a schoolgirl. Things are good relationship-wise.
Right now, at this very moment, I'm realizing I'm getting older. Yes, yes, I realize we're always getting older, blah, blah...
What I notice is my hair. I have no wish to look anything like my father. My Dad's never been concerned with keeping in shape to any extent, or at least for any length of time. I'm the oldest of my generation of children on my father's side of the family. I'm going through many things first, as I have my whole life. At the moment I'm realizing that my widow's peak is becoming more prominent as the years pass. What was once a mild curve is now becoming a more a steeply angled peninsula that has recently become the focus of what little insecurity and anxiety I have as a young man. That being said, one of my brothers and two of my cousins are in the same boat, to some extent or another. The rest will be soon enough. An hour ago I was looking at hair supplements online, something I'm loathe to do. I've only done a small amount of research by now, and I intend to do much more, but I've decided to avoid basing any conclusions on anything but proven clinical trials, of which I've found no shortage. Plenty of independent clinics have compared various hair loss solutions... but from what I see the major brands all work much the same way, for at least the majority of the process. Hair loss is the result of testosterone being transformed into another hormone I'll abbreviate to DMT. DMT has harmful side effects to hair follicles, and effects those that are weaker first, resulting in the many widow's peaks and receding hairlines you see in men of all ages. The process can start as early as fifteen years of age, unfortunately. On average it begins in the early twenties. Maybe I've been lucky, I'm not sure.
Again, I'm basing my information on proven clinical trials, not on the claims of any one individual or institution. Most solutions, be it pill, shampoo, or therapy, produce result similar results. Of the men subjected to clinical testing 48% experience some degree of regrowth in the fist few years. The other 42% stop experiencing hair loss on all fronts. Those odds sound good to me. I'd be happy to see my hairline stay the same way it is now. There are side effects, sure, but if I find I have an issue, and I'm fairly hardy, then I'll accept baldness as my lot in life. That being said, I doubt it will come to that. Another thing is that I firmly believe most men, and indeed most people in general, expect quick results. Many men expect to see bulging hairlines inside of two months... which seems completely naive and childish to me. I may be impatient in some regards, but I accept that hormonal changes are a slow process, and hair growth can take a great deal of time even /after/ hair follicles have been given time to shrug off the damaging effects of DMT. So with all that in mind, I intend to give whichever solution I choose a fair chance of success and continue usage for at least 18 months before making any judgment calls. If nothing is worse in that time then I'll be content... for I know from experience that my hairline is receding and that any loss of momentum on that front is a success in and of itself.
I still have quite a bit of research to do... and I won't deny that I feel superficial and stubborn for resorting to solutions that so obviously cater to a man's vanity and self image. That being said, when I look at my Dad my hesitance melts away. If I'm considered vain for this, then so be it. I've never thought less of a woman for dying her hair to hide the gray. What harm is there in keeping my hairline longer then my genes would normally dictate?
On a side not, none of the solutions in question completely inhibit the production of DMT, since it is a normal, natural hormone within the human body. Most merely curb it's production enough to offset the effects of overproduction that results in young men experiencing hair loss early. I've always advocated the natural approach to treatment the human body, for the most part. I firmly believe most face lifts and cosmetic surgeries are horrible, ugly procedures that /usually/ produce less then appealing results. But again, I also believe that the human body is a template of ever changing specifications. There can be no denying that modern man's teeth have shrunken in the last several thousand years as we've adopted the habit of cooking our meat, rather then simply chewing it as is. And then there's the appendix... an organ our bodies consider something of a red herring-- that is to say, it has no use despite it's lasting presence on our anatomy.
And then again, maybe I'm just trying to justify myself for making an exception to my beliefs. Maybe, if I'm willing to interfere with the course of my body's age progression I should be more understanding of women who choose to modify their breasts to look younger or more appealing.
...I suppose, if I were to be completely honest, I don't object to smaller, subtle approaches to age progression. Taking a daily or weekly pill or using a specially modified shampoo is different to me then allowing surgeons to slice into a person's mid section to give their abdomen a make over at the expense of scars and discoloration.
But again, modern medicine and technology are allowing us to make huge advancements these days. One can hardly scoff at the success of laser eye surgery. Even cosmetic surgery has produced it's small portfolio of successes... I don't think there's a person alive who'd tell you Nicole Kidman seems to have effectively circumvented the age progression so far.
Clearly this is a subject that deserves further consideration... anyway, thanks for reading.